At a crossroads? This is yet another word that I am hearing in conversations all around me...
I remember during my teen years, my youth pastor would say something like, "Life is a series of choices. From the kind of cereal you're going to eat, to the friends you hang out with, to whether or not you're going to live your life in this moment for God." And he would be right. We have many decisions before us in this life as to how we will choose to respond to the things that come at us.
But here I am, a "grown" woman, and I have come to understand that sometimes...there just isn't a choice for me to make. Sometimes, I don't get to choose what happens in this moment. Sometimes, I am simply at the mercy of my Lord and must trust that He has this moment and me in the palm of His hand.
Maybe you've heard of this. It's referred to as waiting. And I freaking hate it.
I'm sure most that read this are perfectly adept at this precious and saintly virture and this doesn't even apply to you. To be honest, I'm actually a rock star at waiting when it comes to my meal out somewhere or a phone call or in line at the grocery store (I lead a very glamorous life).
My difficulty? Waiting on God for instruction on my next move in an area of my life. I suck at this.
I feel like I am at a crossroads. But instead of just looking down each road and determining where to turn and keep on trucking, I am at a standstill. I am waiting on further directions. While everyone around me knows exactly which turn to make, I sit here wondering how long a human can actually wait on an answer without spontaneously combusting or foaming at the mouth.
This morning I opened up my bible to Psalms. Then Proverbs. Then I considered chucking my bible across the room, but I thought that THIS would probably be the straw that broke the camel's back and sent me to hell. So I didn't. I just slammed it onto the table really hard.
All kidding aside, I was angry. Why don't I have answers? What am I doing here, God? I don't feel well, I don't sleep well, I don't remember things that I want to say or do. I'm stuck here just WAITING.
As I prayed these things to God, the word crossroads came to mind again. So I sat down to write. And I really wish this post had a happy ending, but there is no resolution...yet.
By faith I choose to believe that my answers are coming. I choose to trust that God is in control and has a plan. I choose to rest in my mind and heart, knowing that my worrying and wondering will bring me nothing but more frustration. And I choose to hope that my agonizing wait will speak to someone and maybe tomorrow when God has shown up and taken care of everything like He always does, and I look like a jerk for complaining today, someone will see the glory of God in all of this and trust Him more.
9.10.12
Two kinds of grace???
It has been a long time coming. Grace has been on my mind and I have asked people everywhere: What is grace to you? How do you define it? How has it changed your life?
Through my research, I stumbled upon the catholic teaching of grace. According to their teaching, there is both common grace ("For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike."-Matt 5:45) and actual, or saving, grace ("For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God."- Eph 2:8), which is unique to those who (through the conviction of the Holy Spirit) come to a place that they receive it personally.
Their claims lead into some teachings that I personally do not agree with, but I can agree with the idea that we are each always being extended some measure of grace, even if we do not choose to abide in it.
But let me back up a little bit:
What is grace, exactly?
I received many excellent definitions recently when I asked this question on facebook. Many said "Grace is God's unmerited favor toward us." And that is what I have always been taught, as well. A few answers were very beautiful and personal examples of God's grace shown to that individual.
But one answer stuck out.
Our pastor spoke on Sunday about leaders who warn the church against "abusing" grace, as if it were something we could run out of--its source depleted as we draw from our "grace account" until nothing remains. He challenged our church to stop looking at grace as if it were something that we withdraw from only when we are bankrupt, but instead see it as something that God adds to our lives no matter where we stand or what we have done or how much we have already been given. No matter how many times we have received grace, we will continue to receive it.
If we are breathing, we're being shown grace.
So how can grace be abused? If we are living our lives by grace, we are living in God's Riches At Christ's Expense. His riches fulfill our every need. His riches are good, perfect, healthy, and bring glory and honor to His name! We can't abuse that! If we are seeking to fulfill our needs outside of that, then we are not living by grace. If we say, "God will forgive me if I...", that is not living by grace!
That is religion.
Think about it. If I walk in grace, my focus is on Christ's expense and example. I am motivated by the price that He. Already. Paid. I can do nothing to acquire that grace, because it is mine if I am His. So the blessings flow and my motivation is to live out of a heart of gratitude for what He has done for me--apart from what I have done to myself. It is truly unconditional.
But if I choose to sin, believing that God will forgive me afterward and all will be well, I do not believe that God's riches are mine already. I believe that what I want or need in that moment must come from what I think is best and that it will fulfill me. And ultimately, I believe that He will not.
Um...doubt, unbelief, mistrust, anxiety, self-sufficiency, idolatry, entitlement. These are not the basis for a healthy relationship.
And yet...grace keeps on giving.
Imagine the possibilities if we were to spend our energy enjoying that grace and extending that grace to others instead of seeking out riches through inadequate means.
We were made for relationship with God. Again and again, He extends His hand to us. Within that hand He holds riches and wonders beyond anything we could imagine. But like a prince who abdicates his throne to buy a ship and become a pirate, we look at God's hand, then look back down and continue digging around in the dirt, looking for something--anything-- to satisfy our longings.
And yet...He continues to extend that hand until we choose to take it.
Going back to the beginning of the blog. Do you really want to settle for a grace that is "common" to all? Or do you want grace that is personal, relational...meeting your needs above and beyond what you could have hoped for?
"For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace." --John 1:16
Through my research, I stumbled upon the catholic teaching of grace. According to their teaching, there is both common grace ("For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike."-Matt 5:45) and actual, or saving, grace ("For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God."- Eph 2:8), which is unique to those who (through the conviction of the Holy Spirit) come to a place that they receive it personally.
Their claims lead into some teachings that I personally do not agree with, but I can agree with the idea that we are each always being extended some measure of grace, even if we do not choose to abide in it.
But let me back up a little bit:
What is grace, exactly?
I received many excellent definitions recently when I asked this question on facebook. Many said "Grace is God's unmerited favor toward us." And that is what I have always been taught, as well. A few answers were very beautiful and personal examples of God's grace shown to that individual.
But one answer stuck out.
Grace is getting what we don't deserve.
G.od's, R.iches, A.t, C.hrist's, E.xpense.
Now, Bill is a friend of the family, but he is also a pastor, so I'm sure that he actually stole this from someone else! ;) Seriously, though...I appreciate his and all of the answers that were provided. Back to Bill's take on grace, I normally find acronyms like this to be terribly cliche and bordering on Velveeta, but in this case...I believe it accurately and appropriately sums up how most define grace.-Bill Sparks
Our pastor spoke on Sunday about leaders who warn the church against "abusing" grace, as if it were something we could run out of--its source depleted as we draw from our "grace account" until nothing remains. He challenged our church to stop looking at grace as if it were something that we withdraw from only when we are bankrupt, but instead see it as something that God adds to our lives no matter where we stand or what we have done or how much we have already been given. No matter how many times we have received grace, we will continue to receive it.
If we are breathing, we're being shown grace.
So how can grace be abused? If we are living our lives by grace, we are living in God's Riches At Christ's Expense. His riches fulfill our every need. His riches are good, perfect, healthy, and bring glory and honor to His name! We can't abuse that! If we are seeking to fulfill our needs outside of that, then we are not living by grace. If we say, "God will forgive me if I...", that is not living by grace!
That is religion.
Think about it. If I walk in grace, my focus is on Christ's expense and example. I am motivated by the price that He. Already. Paid. I can do nothing to acquire that grace, because it is mine if I am His. So the blessings flow and my motivation is to live out of a heart of gratitude for what He has done for me--apart from what I have done to myself. It is truly unconditional.
But if I choose to sin, believing that God will forgive me afterward and all will be well, I do not believe that God's riches are mine already. I believe that what I want or need in that moment must come from what I think is best and that it will fulfill me. And ultimately, I believe that He will not.
Um...doubt, unbelief, mistrust, anxiety, self-sufficiency, idolatry, entitlement. These are not the basis for a healthy relationship.
And yet...grace keeps on giving.
Imagine the possibilities if we were to spend our energy enjoying that grace and extending that grace to others instead of seeking out riches through inadequate means.
We were made for relationship with God. Again and again, He extends His hand to us. Within that hand He holds riches and wonders beyond anything we could imagine. But like a prince who abdicates his throne to buy a ship and become a pirate, we look at God's hand, then look back down and continue digging around in the dirt, looking for something--anything-- to satisfy our longings.
And yet...He continues to extend that hand until we choose to take it.
Going back to the beginning of the blog. Do you really want to settle for a grace that is "common" to all? Or do you want grace that is personal, relational...meeting your needs above and beyond what you could have hoped for?
"For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace." --John 1:16
25.9.12
The Circle of Life
That title may have been a bit misleading. This post isn't about Lion King or New Age ideas, for that matter. Although, I bet you're humming the song now, aren't you? :)
Circles.
In the world around us, they represent many things: unity, infinity, wholeness, the sun...and yes, of course--good ole' mathematics.
I have been thinking a lot about circles lately. I've been seeing them everywhere. Wreaths, matchbox wheels, and in the tea leaves in the bottom of my coffee mug (seriously, though). I guess they are always there, but I have been a little more tuned in to their presence recently. And, of course, I'm curious as to why. Why have they been drawing my attention, lately?
In Christianity, a circle can represent God himself. He has no beginning; He has no end. He is constant, continuous, complete. Unchanging.
But one description of circles via Wikipedia caught my eye:
A circle can be defined as the curve traced out by a point that moves so that its distance from a given point is constant.
As I read that, a picture began to form that I couldn't get out of my head.
What if we, as Christians, are meant to be like the curve of the circle and Jesus, the given point at its center? It would make sense, wouldn't it? We find our center in Him. When we move, it's as though an invisible line keeps us in orbit around Him. That line or radius between Jesus and ourselves is grace which keeps us within circumference by way of the center--Jesus.
But we're not lone points on the end of a radius, or we would simply have a line. There are many points along that circumference, each with its own connection to the center, although the radius itself remains the same. No one is closer or further from the center, or works harder to have connection.
As I thought about this, I thought that if I were a point trying to connect with another point on the exact opposite side of the circle, the point I had the least in common with, the quickest way would be through the center. The radius doubles and there is now a full diameter between me and that person, with Jesus at the center. He becomes the common ground and there is unity.
Blah, blah, blah hippie lady. So what?
What if one of us along that curve wasn't looking toward its center--at Jesus--but instead was looking outside of the circle for something? Clarity, understanding, solidarity. The radius (grace) still keeps us in circumference--that doesn't change, but our vantage point does. We are unable to connect with any points along the curve, much less its center, because everything we see is now outside of the circle.
(go test it out--look at a circle, seriously...it's crazy)
When facing the center of the circle, we can see everything that is within it and our own position makes sense. We can now connect with any points within the circle, because we can see them clearly when our focus is at the center.
What else?
The cool thing about this circle is that it is ever-widening. It isn't an exclusive circle, because anyone can join in. However, the way for a point to find its way into circumference will always be through connection to its center by way of the radius.
Circles.
In the world around us, they represent many things: unity, infinity, wholeness, the sun...and yes, of course--good ole' mathematics.
I have been thinking a lot about circles lately. I've been seeing them everywhere. Wreaths, matchbox wheels, and in the tea leaves in the bottom of my coffee mug (seriously, though). I guess they are always there, but I have been a little more tuned in to their presence recently. And, of course, I'm curious as to why. Why have they been drawing my attention, lately?
In Christianity, a circle can represent God himself. He has no beginning; He has no end. He is constant, continuous, complete. Unchanging.
But one description of circles via Wikipedia caught my eye:
A circle can be defined as the curve traced out by a point that moves so that its distance from a given point is constant.
As I read that, a picture began to form that I couldn't get out of my head.
What if we, as Christians, are meant to be like the curve of the circle and Jesus, the given point at its center? It would make sense, wouldn't it? We find our center in Him. When we move, it's as though an invisible line keeps us in orbit around Him. That line or radius between Jesus and ourselves is grace which keeps us within circumference by way of the center--Jesus.
But we're not lone points on the end of a radius, or we would simply have a line. There are many points along that circumference, each with its own connection to the center, although the radius itself remains the same. No one is closer or further from the center, or works harder to have connection.
As I thought about this, I thought that if I were a point trying to connect with another point on the exact opposite side of the circle, the point I had the least in common with, the quickest way would be through the center. The radius doubles and there is now a full diameter between me and that person, with Jesus at the center. He becomes the common ground and there is unity.
Blah, blah, blah hippie lady. So what?
What if one of us along that curve wasn't looking toward its center--at Jesus--but instead was looking outside of the circle for something? Clarity, understanding, solidarity. The radius (grace) still keeps us in circumference--that doesn't change, but our vantage point does. We are unable to connect with any points along the curve, much less its center, because everything we see is now outside of the circle.
(go test it out--look at a circle, seriously...it's crazy)
When facing the center of the circle, we can see everything that is within it and our own position makes sense. We can now connect with any points within the circle, because we can see them clearly when our focus is at the center.
What else?
The cool thing about this circle is that it is ever-widening. It isn't an exclusive circle, because anyone can join in. However, the way for a point to find its way into circumference will always be through connection to its center by way of the radius.
20.6.12
Got favor?
Favor.
What a loaded word...lately, it has come up in conversation all around me and so of course my antennae began to tune in.
Many online dictionaries contain similar definitions for favor including this one:
n.) Friendly or favorable regard; approval or support.
As I searched www.blueletterbible.org for references to the word 'favor', I found that the majority of mentions were actually found in the Old Testament. I found this odd and then found it odd that I found this odd...
I guess, in my mind, I have associated favor with new covenant living. From many VBS and Awana meetings as a child, it has been drilled into me that grace is God's unmerited favor toward us. But grace is New Testament, right?
Except that as I read verse after verse and story after story, I realized that favor is all over the Old Testament. It became clear to me after awhile, however, that this favor was almost always attached with an action or to the performance of an individual or a group of people.
So, this is where the OT contrasts with the NT. We know that under the new covenant, we no longer must strive for favor in the sight of the Lord through our actions. We have unmerited favor through Jesus, because now we are seen by God not in our fallen condition, but through the covering of Jesus' blood.
But before I skip ahead, it is obvious to me that, even from the beginning, humans have been preoccupied with finding favor in the sight of God (or gods to the pagan mind). All across the world, humanity reaches toward their deities with their offerings of good works, acts of 'righteousness' and charity toward others.
The good news of what we have is clearly the news that we have found acceptance, approval and favor in the sight of our God...not through our striving, but through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
Only...
...do we really live like that? I mean, think about it. How preoccupied are we with seeking others' approval?
To be perfectly honest, I see a lot of people seeking approval and acceptance from fellow humans. I think the root of this is found in the tangible vs. the intangible. I can't see God's approval and favor for me like I can with other people.
What a trap, huh? I'm sure the enemy is all over this one. If he can keep us preoccupied with getting those 'attaboy's, we won't find satisfaction in knowing that the approval we seek is already ours in Christ.
It occurred to me this week that this is the issue at the heart of the Mary and Martha story (Luke 10:38-42). As I reread this passage, I realized that the 'good thing' that Jesus spoke of in regard to Mary was His favor.
He didn't rebuke Martha because she was too busy doing stuff to sit and listen to His words. Well, not JUST for that. He was speaking to her motivation. She was running around doing things desperately seeking approval and acceptance.
The difference is that Mary sat at His feet, not because she was lazy or unconcerned with her responsibilities. She sat at Jesus' feet because she understood that His approval had nothing to do with anything she could do.
This approval trap is dangerous for so many reasons. It keeps us busy doing things that won't get us what we need. It takes our eyes off of the only One who can satisfy those needs. And it often turns our eyes to those who seem to have tons of favor...and we despise that it is theirs and desire for it to be ours.
When Martha went to Jesus with her complaint, she was furious that Mary sat and did nothing and yet seemed to have all the favor. How many times have you seen success or victory in a situation in your life only to have someone else come along and scoff your efforts, steal your 'credit' or slam your character?
Too many times to count for me.
I believe the root of that jealous and covetous behavior is a lack of understanding of God's favor for each of us. There is not a limited amount of favor...there is more than enough to go around. But sadly, some people are so deceived as to how and where to get this favor that they think if someone has what they want that they must do as they do--or worse, that they must out-do what the 'favored' ones do.
My goodness, what kind of world would it be if we actually understood the favor that covers our lives when we are in Christ!!! We wouldn't worry about anything but bringing others into that favor.
The truth is...our favor has nothing to do with what we do and everything to do with what Jesus has done for us. When we really grasp that--first, our need for atonement and second, the fulfillment of that need in Jesus--there is no question as to whether or not we are favored.
We will be convinced of our favor in the sight of the Lord when we are convinced that we can do nothing to get it.
What a loaded word...lately, it has come up in conversation all around me and so of course my antennae began to tune in.
Many online dictionaries contain similar definitions for favor including this one:
n.) Friendly or favorable regard; approval or support.
As I searched www.blueletterbible.org for references to the word 'favor', I found that the majority of mentions were actually found in the Old Testament. I found this odd and then found it odd that I found this odd...
I guess, in my mind, I have associated favor with new covenant living. From many VBS and Awana meetings as a child, it has been drilled into me that grace is God's unmerited favor toward us. But grace is New Testament, right?
Except that as I read verse after verse and story after story, I realized that favor is all over the Old Testament. It became clear to me after awhile, however, that this favor was almost always attached with an action or to the performance of an individual or a group of people.
So, this is where the OT contrasts with the NT. We know that under the new covenant, we no longer must strive for favor in the sight of the Lord through our actions. We have unmerited favor through Jesus, because now we are seen by God not in our fallen condition, but through the covering of Jesus' blood.
But before I skip ahead, it is obvious to me that, even from the beginning, humans have been preoccupied with finding favor in the sight of God (or gods to the pagan mind). All across the world, humanity reaches toward their deities with their offerings of good works, acts of 'righteousness' and charity toward others.
The good news of what we have is clearly the news that we have found acceptance, approval and favor in the sight of our God...not through our striving, but through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
Only...
...do we really live like that? I mean, think about it. How preoccupied are we with seeking others' approval?
To be perfectly honest, I see a lot of people seeking approval and acceptance from fellow humans. I think the root of this is found in the tangible vs. the intangible. I can't see God's approval and favor for me like I can with other people.
What a trap, huh? I'm sure the enemy is all over this one. If he can keep us preoccupied with getting those 'attaboy's, we won't find satisfaction in knowing that the approval we seek is already ours in Christ.
It occurred to me this week that this is the issue at the heart of the Mary and Martha story (Luke 10:38-42). As I reread this passage, I realized that the 'good thing' that Jesus spoke of in regard to Mary was His favor.
He didn't rebuke Martha because she was too busy doing stuff to sit and listen to His words. Well, not JUST for that. He was speaking to her motivation. She was running around doing things desperately seeking approval and acceptance.
The difference is that Mary sat at His feet, not because she was lazy or unconcerned with her responsibilities. She sat at Jesus' feet because she understood that His approval had nothing to do with anything she could do.
This approval trap is dangerous for so many reasons. It keeps us busy doing things that won't get us what we need. It takes our eyes off of the only One who can satisfy those needs. And it often turns our eyes to those who seem to have tons of favor...and we despise that it is theirs and desire for it to be ours.
When Martha went to Jesus with her complaint, she was furious that Mary sat and did nothing and yet seemed to have all the favor. How many times have you seen success or victory in a situation in your life only to have someone else come along and scoff your efforts, steal your 'credit' or slam your character?
Too many times to count for me.
I believe the root of that jealous and covetous behavior is a lack of understanding of God's favor for each of us. There is not a limited amount of favor...there is more than enough to go around. But sadly, some people are so deceived as to how and where to get this favor that they think if someone has what they want that they must do as they do--or worse, that they must out-do what the 'favored' ones do.
My goodness, what kind of world would it be if we actually understood the favor that covers our lives when we are in Christ!!! We wouldn't worry about anything but bringing others into that favor.
The truth is...our favor has nothing to do with what we do and everything to do with what Jesus has done for us. When we really grasp that--first, our need for atonement and second, the fulfillment of that need in Jesus--there is no question as to whether or not we are favored.
We will be convinced of our favor in the sight of the Lord when we are convinced that we can do nothing to get it.
24.5.12
The Promised Land
“Right away, the day after the Passover, they started eating
the produce of that country, un-raised bread and roasted grain. And then no
more manna; the manna stopped. As soon as they started eating food grown in the
land, there was no more manna for the People of Israel. That year they ate from
the crops of Canaan.” –Joshua 5:11-12 (The Message)
I woke up this morning with a strong urge to look up Joshua 5. As I
read it, these two verses stuck out to me. But I could not for the life of me
figure out why. I prayed on it and meditated on it, but nothing came to mind.
I decided to leave it alone for a while, knowing the answer
would come to me, somehow. And it did.
The Passover represented the time in Egypt when the Lord passed over the land, taking the life of every firstborn. When the
children of Israel placed the blood of the lamb across their doorposts, the
Lord passed over that home, allowing the firstborns to live. Then the children of
Israel were freed.This is a clear symbol of the sacrifice of Jesus and how judgment passes over us when we choose to be covered by Jesus’ blood. We are freed from our former lives of captivity to the power of sin and death.
What I find interesting about these two verses in Joshua is
that they had just crossed the Jordan, on their way to take possession of the
Promised Land. God had been fortifying them with manna from heaven—a temporary
provision until they had access to the land that had been promised to them.
Even though they had not fought yet, the day after Passover,
they began to eat of the land of promise.
To me this represents life after the sacrifice of Jesus.
Before, God’s people were being sustained by a heavenly (but limited) source of
life that was provided for each day (representing the law). After Jesus, however, a system
was put in place for sustenance to come from within, through the indwelling of
the Holy Spirit.
This is what the Promised Land offers: the freedom to live
in grace and favor with God and one another.
However, just as the children of Israel did with Canaan, it seems
to me that we take possession of our Promised Land before we ever have to fight
for it. By faith, we accept that Jesus’ sacrifice is enough. God's promise is
enough…that we will be made alive and whole in freedom. And He has clearly provided
completely and perfectly through His Son, Jesus, for that to be so.
So why, then, must we do battle?
I believe this is the action that accompanies our faith. Our
action says, “I believe what God has promised is true…to the point that I will
walk in it and work for it, knowing that the victory was won for me before I
ever see it. Trusting that if I go about fighting the way that God instructs me
to (and not the way that I think makes sense), that I will be victorious in this life.
I’m sure that it didn’t make sense to the Israelites that
they should march around Jericho for days and then shout the last time. But
they obeyed without understanding, and they attained victory that day.
Through it all, God didn’t leave them hungry or thirsty like
they were for the 40 years that they depended on manna for their food. He
sustained them by the bounty and nourishment of the new land that had been
promised, even while they were still taking possession. Just as we no longer depend
on the unfulfilling law to sustain us, but are nourished and fulfilled in
Christ by God’s favor and grace through the ministry of the Holy Spirit as we
take possession of God’s promised kingdom on earth.
11.12.11
Yes, I wrote a blog about faces
Today, I saw a picture online of the back of a random little boy decorating a Christmas tree. He looked so much like my son from behind that I had to do a double take. And here is how my mind works so strangely sometimes...
As I thought about the view of my son from behind, I wondered what it would be like to never see his face again. I'm not your typical "what if-er" out of fear or anxiety toward the unknown. But sometimes I examine how I would react were I to face situations that others face on a daily basis.
I sat thinking about all the parents out there whose children have been taken from them. Kidnapping. Autism. Cancer. Death. There are so many ways to lose a child.
What if I were to lose my Aidan? Would I get an odd feeling everytime I saw another little boy that looked like him from behind? Would I begin to forget what his face looked like?
There is something very reassuring about familiar faces. My kids crack me up sometimes, when I have been in the room with them for an hour--all the while they've ignored me and as soon as I sneak away to be by myself for five minutes (I just want to go to the bathroom ALONE!)...here they come calling for Mama.
And it's never enough if I call out to them that I am there and I'm ok, I just drank a bunch of coffee...they need to see my face. Everytime, without fail, as soon as they see my face, they're good.
Have you ever been in an uncertain situation? --Your world rocked just enough to leave you feeling a little "off" for awhile afterwards. When my brother died, my initial reaction was to stay away from everyone and everything. I just wanted to "lick my wounds", so to speak.
Inevitably, people would come and pay their condolences, bring food, pray with us and also for us when we could not pray. There was something very centering about seeing certain people--key players in my past and present whose very presence alone was reassuring enough to get me through those dark days.
A familiar face can often feel like home to us. Even someone we haven't seen in a long time--once we see them, there's a moment of instant relaxation. Everything is going to be ok.
For some of us, it's a parent or grandparent. For others, a spouse or a child. Pastors, friends and neighbors are often just as much family as the ones we're born into.
But what about God?
I don't know about you, but I have never seen God's face. In Exodus 33:20, God speaks and says: "You cannot see my face; for man shall not see me and live." So, probably if you told me you had seen the face of God, I would not believe you.
If we cannot see His face, then why does He instruct us to seek it?
"When You said, 'Seek My face,' my heart said to You, 'Your face, O LORD, I shall seek.'" -Psalm 27:8.
As fun as it sounds, I can't actually believe that God is trying to engage us in a cosmic game of "peek-a-boo" for the sake of a good laugh.
We know that if we were to see His face in our earthly condition, we would die straightaway. We also know that we are to seek after His face. Is He playing a game with us? Or does He just know us too well?
My kids could care less about me while I'm in the room with them, but as soon as I am inaccessible, they NEED to see me. I can understand that it is the same with our Father.
We are ingrained with a desire to see the face of God. I don't care how you feel about God or what you believe about God...if you had the chance to see His face, you would take it and so would I.
I believe that God has put that very desire inside of us that nothing else can quite fulfill.
Why?
I could come up with a thousand good reasons and you probably could, too. But more importantly, today at least, I'm concerned not with why I'm compelled to but with whether or not I truly seek Him.
And all because of a picture of a little boy that I have nothing to do with! ;)
As I thought about the view of my son from behind, I wondered what it would be like to never see his face again. I'm not your typical "what if-er" out of fear or anxiety toward the unknown. But sometimes I examine how I would react were I to face situations that others face on a daily basis.
I sat thinking about all the parents out there whose children have been taken from them. Kidnapping. Autism. Cancer. Death. There are so many ways to lose a child.
What if I were to lose my Aidan? Would I get an odd feeling everytime I saw another little boy that looked like him from behind? Would I begin to forget what his face looked like?
There is something very reassuring about familiar faces. My kids crack me up sometimes, when I have been in the room with them for an hour--all the while they've ignored me and as soon as I sneak away to be by myself for five minutes (I just want to go to the bathroom ALONE!)...here they come calling for Mama.
And it's never enough if I call out to them that I am there and I'm ok, I just drank a bunch of coffee...they need to see my face. Everytime, without fail, as soon as they see my face, they're good.
Have you ever been in an uncertain situation? --Your world rocked just enough to leave you feeling a little "off" for awhile afterwards. When my brother died, my initial reaction was to stay away from everyone and everything. I just wanted to "lick my wounds", so to speak.
Inevitably, people would come and pay their condolences, bring food, pray with us and also for us when we could not pray. There was something very centering about seeing certain people--key players in my past and present whose very presence alone was reassuring enough to get me through those dark days.
A familiar face can often feel like home to us. Even someone we haven't seen in a long time--once we see them, there's a moment of instant relaxation. Everything is going to be ok.
For some of us, it's a parent or grandparent. For others, a spouse or a child. Pastors, friends and neighbors are often just as much family as the ones we're born into.
But what about God?
I don't know about you, but I have never seen God's face. In Exodus 33:20, God speaks and says: "You cannot see my face; for man shall not see me and live." So, probably if you told me you had seen the face of God, I would not believe you.
If we cannot see His face, then why does He instruct us to seek it?
"When You said, 'Seek My face,' my heart said to You, 'Your face, O LORD, I shall seek.'" -Psalm 27:8.
As fun as it sounds, I can't actually believe that God is trying to engage us in a cosmic game of "peek-a-boo" for the sake of a good laugh.
We know that if we were to see His face in our earthly condition, we would die straightaway. We also know that we are to seek after His face. Is He playing a game with us? Or does He just know us too well?
My kids could care less about me while I'm in the room with them, but as soon as I am inaccessible, they NEED to see me. I can understand that it is the same with our Father.
We are ingrained with a desire to see the face of God. I don't care how you feel about God or what you believe about God...if you had the chance to see His face, you would take it and so would I.
I believe that God has put that very desire inside of us that nothing else can quite fulfill.
Why?
I could come up with a thousand good reasons and you probably could, too. But more importantly, today at least, I'm concerned not with why I'm compelled to but with whether or not I truly seek Him.
And all because of a picture of a little boy that I have nothing to do with! ;)
30.11.11
Occupied...not what you think.
I want to start out by saying that I am not setting myself against anything or anyone in this email. What I am most trying to achieve is a little perspective, for myself primarily, but also for those who want it.
The word "occupy" is defined many different ways. Online, I found several definitions:
1. To engage or employ the mind, energy or attention of.
2. To take or fill up (time, space, etc).
3. To take possession or control of (a place), as by military invasion.
4. To be a resident or tenant of.
5. To take or hold possession.
There is much in the news about a movement of people who are fed up with the way things are and have chosen to do something about it. While I'm sure it is a very good subject to discuss, that is not my topic for today. You're probably a little surprised since it is such a catch phrase right now: occupy.
Actually, my line of thinking has gone somewhere else entirely.
As I sat at the Hillsong Live concert last night, I looked around and saw many believers all together in the same place. I assumed that most, if not all, of us had come because of the great influence that Hillsong has had on individual as well as corporate worship.
While we sat waiting for the music to begin, I turned my heart toward God in prayer. I put my thoughts on Him and what He has done in my life. I thanked Him for His Son and for the freedom I find because of my life in Christ. I did this quietly and privately within the space of my stadium seat.
I looked up, and I was amazed and in awe to see so many with their heads bowed as we waited for the worship time together to begin.
And then I saw the lighted screens.
My heart broke a little bit to see that most of those people with their heads bowed were conducting business on their phones rather than preparing for worship in prayer like I had thought they were doing.
I wondered if we were to gather as many Muslims in such a place for the purpose of worship, would we see the same behavior? What about Buddhists?
As I reflected on all of this, the lights went down and Hillsong began to sing from offstage...a beautiful a cappella version of Come Thou Fount.
And the cameras started going off.
What am I not saying? First of all, I am not condemning anyone. If you're like me at all, you play this game:
"What if their dying grandma couldn't make it and wanted to see a picture?"
-Or-
"What if they're reading scripture from their bible app in order to focus in on worship?"
I get it. You can't judge a book by its cover. But 3 out of 4 people? With sick grannies? I don't know.
I understand that it's just a band. It's not like we all gathered together to see Jesus in the flesh.
But Hillsong is (and always has been) known for leading worship. As soon as the first song, "God is Able" began to play, people sang and raised their hands to God. And I'm sure they truly worshipped.
If they were occupied in worship at that time, what were they occupied in before? How were they engaged? What did their time and energy go toward?
It makes me think of a bathroom on an airplane. The ones that turn to green when available or red when occupied. How many times does our Lord find our hearts in either position? Sometimes I think that we are so busy entertaining ourselves that we don't stop to put our thoughts on Him until it's the proper time.
The proper time?!?!
I know that I do it. I would like to think that I don't do it as much as most people, but I'm probably kidding myself. Besides, does it really even matter how much I do it compared to other people? That's a dumb game that too many of us play. Because the truth of the matter is this:
I fall short.
We fall short.
And the sad thing is...we're occupied with really GOOD things a lot of the time. "Good" things...not "bad" things.
If you live in the city, you've heard the term and seen the effects of "light pollution." The idea is that there's so much ambient lighting that the natural light of the stars and planets cannot be seen.
Is it that way with the busy-ness of our lives? Is there so much noise, entertainment...even the good stuff...that we find it increasingly difficult to be still and quiet and focus our energies and attentions on our Lord? Especially when it's not the "proper" time?
I'm kind of a mess. Without the Holy Spirit's direction I am a BIG mess. So please don't think that I am scolding or reprimanding out of my flesh. I'm only passing along the thoughts that came to me as I reflected on the things that I have seen. The truth is, I'm a little stung by these truths, as well.
How are you occupied? With a lot of good stuff? Light is a good thing, but is there too much of the artificial light distracting you from the real thing? When is the last time that you did something without the purpose (in one way or another) of finding entertainment?
The word "occupy" is defined many different ways. Online, I found several definitions:
1. To engage or employ the mind, energy or attention of.
2. To take or fill up (time, space, etc).
3. To take possession or control of (a place), as by military invasion.
4. To be a resident or tenant of.
5. To take or hold possession.
There is much in the news about a movement of people who are fed up with the way things are and have chosen to do something about it. While I'm sure it is a very good subject to discuss, that is not my topic for today. You're probably a little surprised since it is such a catch phrase right now: occupy.
Actually, my line of thinking has gone somewhere else entirely.
As I sat at the Hillsong Live concert last night, I looked around and saw many believers all together in the same place. I assumed that most, if not all, of us had come because of the great influence that Hillsong has had on individual as well as corporate worship.
While we sat waiting for the music to begin, I turned my heart toward God in prayer. I put my thoughts on Him and what He has done in my life. I thanked Him for His Son and for the freedom I find because of my life in Christ. I did this quietly and privately within the space of my stadium seat.
I looked up, and I was amazed and in awe to see so many with their heads bowed as we waited for the worship time together to begin.
And then I saw the lighted screens.
My heart broke a little bit to see that most of those people with their heads bowed were conducting business on their phones rather than preparing for worship in prayer like I had thought they were doing.
I wondered if we were to gather as many Muslims in such a place for the purpose of worship, would we see the same behavior? What about Buddhists?
As I reflected on all of this, the lights went down and Hillsong began to sing from offstage...a beautiful a cappella version of Come Thou Fount.
And the cameras started going off.
What am I not saying? First of all, I am not condemning anyone. If you're like me at all, you play this game:
"What if their dying grandma couldn't make it and wanted to see a picture?"
-Or-
"What if they're reading scripture from their bible app in order to focus in on worship?"
I get it. You can't judge a book by its cover. But 3 out of 4 people? With sick grannies? I don't know.
I understand that it's just a band. It's not like we all gathered together to see Jesus in the flesh.
But Hillsong is (and always has been) known for leading worship. As soon as the first song, "God is Able" began to play, people sang and raised their hands to God. And I'm sure they truly worshipped.
If they were occupied in worship at that time, what were they occupied in before? How were they engaged? What did their time and energy go toward?
It makes me think of a bathroom on an airplane. The ones that turn to green when available or red when occupied. How many times does our Lord find our hearts in either position? Sometimes I think that we are so busy entertaining ourselves that we don't stop to put our thoughts on Him until it's the proper time.
The proper time?!?!
I know that I do it. I would like to think that I don't do it as much as most people, but I'm probably kidding myself. Besides, does it really even matter how much I do it compared to other people? That's a dumb game that too many of us play. Because the truth of the matter is this:
I fall short.
We fall short.
And the sad thing is...we're occupied with really GOOD things a lot of the time. "Good" things...not "bad" things.
If you live in the city, you've heard the term and seen the effects of "light pollution." The idea is that there's so much ambient lighting that the natural light of the stars and planets cannot be seen.
Is it that way with the busy-ness of our lives? Is there so much noise, entertainment...even the good stuff...that we find it increasingly difficult to be still and quiet and focus our energies and attentions on our Lord? Especially when it's not the "proper" time?
I'm kind of a mess. Without the Holy Spirit's direction I am a BIG mess. So please don't think that I am scolding or reprimanding out of my flesh. I'm only passing along the thoughts that came to me as I reflected on the things that I have seen. The truth is, I'm a little stung by these truths, as well.
How are you occupied? With a lot of good stuff? Light is a good thing, but is there too much of the artificial light distracting you from the real thing? When is the last time that you did something without the purpose (in one way or another) of finding entertainment?
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