It's a new year!!! Ok, ok...I know it has been for a couple of days now. You'll forgive me for that, though, since I'm sick, right? :)
Oh, yes. I have a cold. Not a big deal for most folks, but when you have been bordering on the edge of auto-immune disease for a few years, it is definitely a little bit bigger of a deal. Last time I had a cold, it quickly turned into a monstrous ordeal and by the end of it I was fighting not one, but two acute infections. One chance to beat it with antibiotics (which I HATE, but I had no choice) or they were threatening me with hospital time. Luckily, it worked and I kicked that cold. After 6 weeks...
Actually, luck had nothing to do with it. And that's kind of why I am sitting here babbling on and on.
So, this time that I have been under the weather, I cannot seem to shake the gratitude. That sounds funny, but here's a glimpse inside my brain the last day or so: (scared?)
Me: Ugh. I feel like mangled poo that's been refried in brussel sprout juice.
Me: Sorry, God, that was a bit much, huh? I just wish I could feel better. I have things to do! Isn't that just such a glorious thing, God? I have things to do. I can do things. Like, the other day...I was sitting with Aidan and we were talking about his piano playing and he asked me to teach him more songs! I love that he wants me to help and that I can help. Thank you for blessing me with the ability to be here and do things and love people!
God: Calm down, your body needs the energy for healing. And you're welcome. :)
Ok, that was silly. But don't worry...God is used to me by now. Or so I tell myself, anyway.
Seriously, though. It seems like every time that I have tried to whine or complain about being sick, the Holy Spirit has brought me around to seeing something to be thankful for in the middle of it. Do you know what I'm thankful for most of all?
That my hope is in the Lord.
As I was eating my special gluten free, sugar free, dairy free dinner tonight, I thought about everything I have learned in the last three years regarding nutrition. If you've been around me for four seconds during a meal, there's a good chance that you know a morsel of this information.
Tonight, though, as I thought about everything...I laughed. Out loud! Because so much of what I know contradicts itself at some point. I've even asked doctors, "But what if..." and gotten the "Well..." answers. The truth that I came to rest in tonight is that no matter What I Do...God is my healer. He just is. And He will. Heal me, that is.
I'll still do my best to take care of this temple, of course. But only because I have faith that God is working it all together for my good. Standing in my kitchen tonight, I had an amazing peace come over me. And I took another bite of my gluten free, sugar free, dairy free dinner.
Once again, I am so thankful that all my delight is in Him...all of my hope...all of my strength. God gave me that word for this new year. No matter what things await me this year, my hope is in Him. And I feel like having this cold allowed me to know and receive this truth in a much deeper way.
Happy New Year! :)